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Pour her drink first and hold the door open. She may be OK with your casual relationship. Her mom is her best friend and the most important person in her life. She calls Mom every day, even though she moved out a decade ago. Asking her to pick you over her mother is the fastest way to be kicked to the curb. Mom is at the top, and the rest of her family is her second priority. She acts like a year-old when goofing off with her younger brothers.

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To love her is to spend lots of time with her big, loud family without complaining. If you do, her daddy will shoot you with his Remington hunting rifle and feed you to the bayou gators.

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You will learn not to waste a morsel of shellfish — there are techniques for extracting the last bit of shrimp from the tail and sucking crawfish he. She may be a southern belle, but she knows a thing or two about cars, plumbing and wiring — so should you. Whatever your religious beliefs — or lack thereof, which you should never bring up — you will attend church on the two big holidays.

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She has a career of her own, but her parents still care about yours.

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